Sunday, November 8

Breaking News: Chennai Software Associate joins #AwardWapsi

Amidst all the kerfuffle surrounding the return of a dizzying array of awards by eminent personalities in various disciplines protesting the disturbing socio-political climate, a software professional from Chennai has also joined the bandwagon of #AwardWapsi brigade albeit for a different reason.
Jagan, a distinguished sheep in the Siruseri IT flock, started his protest by returning the Quarterly Award given to him for "Best Performance". This news came as a shock and we had our sources checked and conducted a thorough analysis to actually verify the information. As ridiculous as it is, this information, unfortunately, is true. Yes - Jagan actually has an award. So to know further details on this we got in touch with him with few questions.

What are you protesting against?

That's a very good question. The recent protest getting all the limelight is an adverse reaction against the current events and other political factors. I couldn't join their force for a reason that seems very clear and obvious to me - I've no knowledge of current affairs. As abysmal as it may seem these protests are gravely politicized and get lot of attention. That gave me the idea that I've to protest to attract attention. Since I've no general knowledge about any recent news I've started protesting against the fact that I've nothing to protest. I'm a sucker for Vanity.

When did you get this Idea?

I remember seeing a tweet from Chetan Bhagat declaring that he is pre-booking his #AwardWapsi as he didn't get any award yet. Although it is so sweet that he actually thinks he might get an award, it also made me realize that if Chetan is contemplating about returing his non-existent award, I , an actual awardee, must do something about it. Hence my protest.

Do you condone the actions of Nayanthara then?

I do, but not completely. Someone has to start something at some point right? She did it and that's that. To actually make that controversial, shows the ineptitude of the complainants as they lack the skill and guts to do what she did.

Care to elaborate?

Sure. See I understand why she did Thani Oruvan. Even though it seemed to be an entertaining movie the heroine's role was, although subtle, not a significant deviation from the norm. But when she played the mother of a kid in Maaya and started "acting" after a long time it pissed off the rest. That's why you see people like Hansika still raising objections on the same. Don't even get me started on the deaf girl role in Naanum Rowdy thaan. She just ....

OK, wait. I think you got confused. I was asking about Nayanthara Sehgal

Nayanthara who?

So you are supporting this movement I presume?

Of course yes

What do you say to the detractors who say that such protests are pointless and a joke?

I say only one thing to them. I got an award for Best Performance in the quarter. There cannot be a bigger joke than that.

So when you return the award, will you be returning the prize money as well?

Prize money?? I didn't get any ... Was there prize money??

So you are just going to return the award and the certificate

No no .. there is no certificate

OK, let me get this straight- so you'll just be returning a piece of metallic craft work, that you can get from a gift shop anywhere, for a meager price of Rs.100/- which says Best performer along with your name printed on it?

No ... My name is not there on the award.

All the best

Thank you.

Judging from the response we do conclude that, Jagan, as ignorant as he seems, will definitely be held in a special place by the society. A (mental) Ward.